Relationships: Is It True That Opposites Attract?
When it comes to choosing a mate, opposites really do attract, according to a Brazilian study that found people are subconsciously more likely to choose a partner whose genetic make-up is different than their own.
This was likely an evolutionary strategy to ensure healthy reproduction, because genetic variability is an advantage for offspring. Parents with dissimilar genes provide their offspring with a better chance to ward infections off, because their immune system genes are more diverse.
The idea of “opposites attract” can be found in the Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang, which is based on the celestial calendar, but is often associated with opposites which together form a whole. Yin means “moon” while Yang means “sun.” Yin represents woman while Yang represents man. According to the Yin Yang philosophy, Yin can’t exist without Yang and Yang can’t exist with Yin. Together the opposites attract and complement each other.
On a more basic level, there’s certainly an attraction in what’s different. Many people are attracted to their opposite simply because it’s fascinating and exciting to experience someone so different than they are.
Even if there are powerful biological, reproductive and psychological reasons for choosing a partner who’s very different than you are, a relationship between two opposites is challenging. For example, if you are an extrovert and he is an introvert, conflict might arise when you want to go out and have fun every night while he almost always prefers to stay home.
When a person is a strong opposite of you, the relationship will be under stress more often than if the person is very similar to you. However, this doesn’t mean the relationship can’t work: open communication, flexibility and a mutual willingness to compromise can go a long way in helping smooth out the inevitable bumps along the road.
It’s important to realize, that in many cases, a couple who seems like opposites are actually quite similar. For example, one of them may be an extrovert while the other is an introvert, but they may share other important traits in common, such as interests, philosophies, and values.
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Photo credit: Ralph Bijker
